How To Stop Worrying About Things You Can’t Control

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I’m freaking the f*#k out. Logically, I know there’s no point of worrying but I’m extremely anxious and it feels like the world is going to burn down. With such a drastic transition from feeling nothing to really feeling the anxiety and depression at 150%, I’m trying to ground myself with some quotes I remember from self-help books (Dr Wayne Dyer) from like years ago.

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How To Stop Worrying

Honestly, I have no idea why as a kid I was drawn to self-help books. Probably cause it’s what my dad had lying around everywhere. But I guess I was also like emotionally and mentally always wanting to be more, never feeling like i was enough (<– Yup, that sounds like characteristics of perfectionism).

Stress Be Gone -Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

But I remember listening to an audiobook by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer about stress. Now to me it seems clear to correlate directly with anxiety (I suppose we didn’t really use those terms back in the day) but regardless the quote and thought process still makes sense to me today.

“It makes no sense to worry about the things you have no control over, because if you have no control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And also, it makes no sense to worry about the things you do have control over, because if you have control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And there goes everything that it is possible to worry about. Either you have control or you don’t, and worry is just a waste of your precious, present moments.”

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Worry, Stress and Anxiety are Occupying your Present Moments

So, hopefully that quotes resonates with you. I think it helps me out a little bit to continue on with my day. I think I feel like if stuff goes wrong, my whole day will get out of whack. But in reality I usually just worry and then get nothing done through the entire day which is also counter-productive.

Make a note of your emotions, and do your best to continue on

He has a different approach than I would like because it feels more attacking your own emotions. And I suppose because I’m relatively new to allowing myself to be absorbed by these feelings, my thoughts are more to embrace everything as is. Kinda let things be and then figure it out from there cause I’m not trying to have beef with myself cause that’s way too easy for me to do.

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So How Do We Stop Freaking Out?

1. Recognize What You’re Actually Feeling

Take your steps from CBT (Mind Over Mood). What the heck is actually going on in your head? What was the situation that started these feelings if anything? What were you thinking? What were you feeling? Write down your emotions, rate them and really try to understand where your headspace is at.

2. Understand what the outcomes mean

Most blogs say to identify what you can control. And ya while that makes sense and also in the same approach of Wayne Dyer seems to do it.

Do you have control over it? Can you change anything? If not, how can you prepare for it? How will you react to a specific scenario?

But I feel with perfectionist and people that get lost into the meticulous. Saying that I feel like can be dangerous. So taking the same approach with CBT I feel like it makes the most sense to understand what your outcomes mean to you.

What are you worried about? What does it mean? If the worst-case scenario of what you’re thinking happens, can you prepare for it or fix it? What’s the best-case scenario? What’s the most likely situation? Is it all that bad?

3. Can you reframe your original thought/worry to a more grounded one?

With all these things in mind, it’s most likely that your emotions have gone down. Even if it is slightly by less than a rate of 1%. It is still down. And I’d call that a success.

And if it doesn’t;’t quite feel better even after analyzing your thoughts. The best thing to conclude this CBT exercise is to reframe your thought to include all of the things that you’ve considered.

Remember: You’re not trying to lie to yourself. These are real, logical thoughts, that you just came up with. The key is you’re just trying to make that part heard as much as the anxious side.

And then when all that doesn’t help….

What do we do???

I don’t know if this is unhealthy,

only AFTER you login with your emotions

Try to get lost in your actions rather than your feelings

this sounds super unhealthy, but it’s how I’m coping right now. My feelings are at the highest right now and most of the times I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. But I dunno how to cry, and instead I just sleep. But that reallly annoys me and I get really upset with myself if that happens.

So, rather than my usual numbing our process, I try my best to absorb and understand all the emotions and feelings that are going on in my head. And then once they’re written down. sometimes I feel better. But if i don’t I’m trying to get myself to do things anyways. Get into the flow state or numbness state of doing things and then I hope that the rebalancing of my thoughts help get it grounded afterwards.

lol I know the past two paragraph may not be english. But I jsut had to get the thought out of my head and maybe one day I’ll clean that up. but this page just serves me a reminder of what to do when I’m feeling stessed.


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